How to Build Self Confidence

There are two main things that can have a profound effect on self confidence:

• Money

• Looks

And a third one that many don't realize: HEALTH - both physical and mental.

Look at ads selling beauty and fitness products.

A lot of them offer products that promise to build or restore your confidence. It is usually said explicitly or heavily implied.

That's how much of our self confidence we attach to our looks.

Anti-acne ad... see the C-word written boldly

What about money?

It's self deceit to ignore the ways money improves our self confidence.

Money-boosted confidence manifests in many ways:

• Walking boldly into a restaurant or store to order without questioning your pockets,

• Boldly approaching the woman of your dreams,

• Being choosy about projects to work on because money isn't a problem, etc.

I mean, how many times have you imagined being able to do these things?

The problem is, we don't want to derive our confidence from money and looks.

Those are transient.

What happens if you run into hard times?

What happens to your confidence if you get fat?

Or have a bad episode with acne.

Or you begin to age.

Do you run into hiding?

Do you recoil and allow your self confidence to take a hit?

Preventing this is the reason for this post.

I want to show you sustainable ways to build/increase your self confidence without reliance on looks and money.

Hey, they matter.

But while you're working towards the body of your dreams and trying to make that money, you should still be able to move around and take on tasks confidently.

Notice that I'm not talking about health. That's because sometimes, it's out of our control.

Health can greatly impact your belief in yourself and abilities. 

Still, you will find here tips that can hopefully help you. Even when you're not at your strongest.

What is Self confidence?

Self confidence is an individual's trust in their own abilities, capacities and judgement or belief that he or she can successfully face day to day challenges.

Often confused with self esteem - which is simply the amount of worth an individual places on him/herself - self confidence is purely a belief in oneself.

The degree of that self belief however, is another and is often a huge determinant in how far one can go.

Confidence also should not be confused with courage.

Courage is acting through fear.

Now, to the crux of the matter. How can you increase your self confidence?

Here are steps you can take both immediate and long-term to drastically increase your self confidence:

Adopt Good Posture

Surprised?

Adopting proper posture makes you look confident and even trick your mind into acting confident. This is more of a quick fix than a long term strategy.

To do this, adopt power poses. Sit or stand straight, place your hands on a stable surface to conceal jitters and shaky hands.

Good posture makes you look taller, increases your presence and can help you portray confidence when you need to.

Exercise

Hopefully, you've admitted to yourself that you are more confident when you look better. Good news is exercise is one of the ways to put your best body forward.

Beyond looks though, exercise releases endorphins which makes you feel better and puts you in a better state of mind. 

So with exercise, you're building confidence inside and outside: crafting a better body and healthier mental state.

Good Grooming

One of the things that makes plastic surgery and diet fads so popular is the confidence boost they promise.

When you look at any lady(for instance) who has gone from plain Jane to Baddie, the difference is astonishing.

She seems to ooze confidence. She goes after people fearlessly, walks into rooms boldly, talks likes she deserves to be listened to.

What happened there? 

Simple. She looks better so she feels better.

When you look good, you feel good. And it shows in everything. Your speech, your mannerism, your gait, your manner of approach, everything!

Good news is, you don't have to resort to plastic surgery if you don't want to. 

Basic grooming can take your confidence level from 0-100.

So, what does basic grooming entail?

• A good bath (perfumes won't solve everything)

• Clean clothes

• A nice cut or hairstyle

• Well fitted outfits- trust me, even the most sparkling white clothes won't deliver the same effects as fitted ones. No, it's not necessarily bodycon.

• Clean shoes

• Perfume- yes it has its place but on a clean body.

And the icing on the cake, healthy-looking skin.

Upskilling

Acquiring skills can have a profound effect on your confidence. There are few things as reassuring as going from novice to sellable in a chosen skill path.

This is because:

• It reassures you that you are in fact, not a dunce.

• And that you're capable of commitment and discipline.

It also gives you something to talk about. 

Imagine having to introduce yourself and speaking glowingly about what you can do.

You'll no longer be shy about meeting people and talking about yourself.

All because you know what you have to offer and can confidently speak on it.

Upskilling takes you out of your comfort zone and helps you grow which is very good for building self confidence.

Shun Perfectionism

One of the biggest confidence killers is not feeling like what you do is enough.

Like you aren't good enough, your work isn't good enough, that you have to do more and everything has to be perfect before you put it out there.

This is what Perfectionism does to you.

You keep going on and on, stuck in the preparation stage and never quite taking real action.

This is why you must shun perfectionism. As a perfectionist, you won't realize that your first or even 100th work will not be perfect. In fact you may never be. 

That's because you are constantly growing and getting better.

The more you put your imperfect work out there, the more you improve and the more confident you become.

Through feedback and consistency, your skill goes from not-so-good to amazing. 

If you're constantly feeling inadequate, that's the opposite of confidence. Allow yourself to make mistakes, learn and grow.

Adequate preparation

If you have an event, a presentation, or a project you're working on, prepare extensively.

It doesn't matter if you've done it a million times before. Prepare each time like it's your first. It's one of the easiest and most effective ways to build confidence.

Prepare ahead. Give yourself adequate time. Be it studies, speeches, sports or work, practice, practice and practice some more.

You get better when you practice and can confidently deliver a stellar performance when it's time.

Nothing will kill your confidence faster than unpreparedness.

Having clear goals

The beauty about having clear goals is the ability to measure them. You can track your progress and results.

Seeing progress and results of the goals in your life is a huge confidence booster.

Having unclear goals means you can't tell what's working, you can't measure progress, you can't seem to achieve them, you feel stuck, your confidence drops.

To prevent this,

• Clearly define what you want to achieve

• Outline how you intend to achieve them.

• Give yourself time

• Break goals into simpler forms.

Define what a short, medium and long term result looks like so you can celebrate even the seemingly smallest wins.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Helping others

Helping others, seeing their lives get better because of you makes you feel valued and improves your self confidence.

Strive to be a person of value and a solution provider. Helping others helps with this.

What's more?

Everytime you donate your time and skills to help others, you feel fulfilled, useful, you sharpen your skills, sharpen your mind and gain confidence in your ability to solve problems.

Staying positive

In speech and in thought, you must stay positive.

Avoid dwelling on the negatives and get rid of negative self talk. Convince yourself that you're capable of anything. 

Believe in your abilities and speak of it constantly.

By being positive, you train your mind to focus on your abilities and what you have to offer.

It's not just faking it, it's reorientation. If you don't feel good inside, you'll never pursue what you want and manifest the greatness in you.

Practice gratefulness, focus on what you have and see your confidence soar.

With self confidence, it's ongoing. As you grow and interact with people at all levels, there are periods you might feel less than confident.

It is important to have these tips in mind and use them continuously to maintain a confidence level that allows you to go for what you want.

When it comes to confidence, remember:

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause of fear.” – Norman Vincent Peale.