2020: Reflections

I had an idea of what my year in review would look like when I penned my goals.

What I didn't envision was the performance 2020 was going to put up.

The draft was in my head.

I imagined ticking off items on my list, laughing and patting myself on the back for a job well done.

Now, all I have are reflections.

My thought process has changed, my perception on several issues altered and that is way more interesting than what I planned earlier.

These are what I had in mind for 2020

1. Learn web development

2. Write more

3. Earn more from my side gig.

4. Create more streams of income.

5. Get my masters degree

6. Use Duolingo daily

7. Get a mentor especially for my coding.

8. Workout at least 10mins daily.

9. Get a great job.

10. Take at least 20 online courses.

11. Read at least 12 books this year

12. Apply for & get at least 1 foreign opportunity( internship or fellowship).

13. Be more aggressive about my goals.

14. Celebrate every win and step taken towards my goals.

Did I achieve all?

Hell no!

And I'm glad I didn't.

They were too simple. 

Way too simple and not accounting for life's complexities.

For instance, getting a foreign opportunity.

In the middle of a pandemic?

I would have been distraught. If there's one thing that has marked the year, it's the abundance of weddings and partnership. Clearly, people don't want to do life alone.

I sure as hell didn't want to be by myself in a foreign land, locked down most likely and away from the ones I love.

My mental health would have taken a hit.

What about getting a mentor for coding?

Nope!

There were many times I just didn't feel like doing anything. When my head felt too full.

Imagine being accountable to someone at those moments. They'll probably think I'm unserious. How much grace could they have extended before they got tired?

I could give more examples but, see what I mean?

There were no losses though, only lessons.

I had big realizations across many areas of my life. The most profound were on:

• Money
• Social media
• Career
• Knowledge
• Spirituality
• Relationships
• Goal settingP
• Putting myself first.

Money

The goal this year was to make more money from what I currently do and multiply my income stream. What I didn't realize was how financially inept I was.

I also didn't have the kind of financial literacy I thought I had.

The most painful part?

It became glaring that you do need money to make money. Yes, even to create other sources of income.

I think people don't talk about this enough. I can't begin to tell you how many things I tried to do that were simply out of my reach financially. My income flow wasn't stable, my money was going out as much as it was coming in.

I decided to tell myself the truth. I'm still at the spending stage of my life. I've got expenses.

I have my hands in several things which cost money. This means I only have disposable income. This is particularly important because I tried investing. 

But you only invest with money you can afford to lose. Right now, I don't have that and accepting this brought me so much clarity and peace.

Moving forward: For 2021, I would double down on what I do. Laser focus on it, get better, make good money from it before branching out to other things.

Social Media

Anyone who knows me can tell how condescending my attitude towards social media is. I don't think highly of it and I've largely shunned it.

Well, colour me surprised when I decided to join - wait for it - Twitter. Of all platforms!

The notorious Twitter.

But, it's one of the best decisions I made this year. Infact, I want to buy Jack Dorsey a bottle of wine sometime.

There is a lot of disservice done when you rely on your immediate environment and network alone. Especially when they're not as vast as you'd like. SM brings all kinds of interesting people from all over the world and it's simply ridiculous not to take advantage of it. Twitter, for me, does this best.

I've had mind-blowing interactions, learnt a lot about money, career, gained more knowledge that - gasps - trumps what I learned in school. Yes, I just admitted that.

It also reaffirmed my intolerance for bullshit. My timeline is so curated that sometimes, I go looking for filth just for a few giggles.

Lessons:

• Social media isn't the devil. It's what you make of it.
• It is possible to tap into and penetrate certain spaces if you utilize social media. Twitter especially.
• The magic happens in the DMs and a single comment under the right post can bring quality personalities to you.

Currently I've gotten gigs, notable interactions and very interesting admirers on my faceless account.

Moving forward: I intend to share what I know, be more vocal about what I do, interact even more and probably do some meetups.

Career

I've always believed in the dynamism of careers and that no one has to stay in one path all their lives.

Well, this year, I got several confirmations on this. I interacted with people whose career paths and trajectory simply didn't make sense. They defied traditional career advice, and if not for their success, would be termed very unserious.

I put traditional job applications on hold this year for various reasons and I don't regret it. I've been learning and I can happily say, I have three different options laid out for me. Three different career paths I can explore.

Yaaasss!

I also learned how to send cold emails and the responses have been amazing. Since I'm learning web development, I've been sending mails to startups (it's amazing how many poor sites and web content are out there) on ways to improve their sites. The mini UI course I took was a huge blessing in this aspect.

This has made me understand that everyone loves a solution provider. Sending cold emails without telling them exactly what you can do and how they can get better is simply not it. With cold emails, I know I have pretty interesting interviews lined up for the new year.

Moving forward: I want to live like a lady in her 20s, explore various paths, talk to people across various industries and break into at least one in the coming year.

Knowledge

2020 was a year for learning, unlearning and relearning.

I have never been bombarded with as much information as I was this year. I even had periods of information overload but eventually, I managed it.

There were three very striking parts for me:

Books

I had a beautiful mind shift on books this year. I went from trying to do numbers to treating my reading times as a devotion. I had a 30minutes/day reading time mapped out which I was faithful with.

I also learned that there were people like me who could read two to three completely unrelated books at once. I wasn't weird after all.

I love all the books I read (12 in all) but stand out books were: 

• Atomic habits
• The alchemist
• Cashvertising
• Shoe dog
• 1-page marketing plan.

Learning medium

Because I was learning how to code, I had to jump from one learning medium to the other. Simply to figure out what works. I went from loving tech books to hating them, loving tech videos to hating them and eventually combining the two.

What works for me now is bite-sized videos and beginner books that take into consideration, white space and illustrations. If you can't tell, there aren't many books like that so I did a lot of searching.

I did learn HTML and CSS but honey, JavaScript is currently the bane of my existence.

Knowledge Sharing

I didn't do this a lot but I have come to understand that it's a fantastic way to learn. I think my perfectionist side got the best of me. Now, I'm trying to get comfortable with being an amateur before I become a pro.

Moving forward: I'll read more and share what I know.

Spirituality

My spiritual life was intriguing this year. I was tested and had a better understanding of the word.

First off, I became very aware of my life as a Christian and this affected virtually all decisions I took this year.

I ignored quite a number of juicy gigs that sometimes made me question if I was doing the right thing. My line of work is persuasive and I didn't want to use it in a way that contrasts my belief.

I also turned down some relationships (both work and personal). I learned that even doing the right thing could hurt at that moment. It's never easy.

I also had to come to terms with what the right thing is. How morality differs from person to person and how to interact with people based on that.

I started Bible plans on my Youversion app. I'm currently on a Psalms and Proverbs plan which spans over a year.

Have I been consistent? No.

But I've moved past beating myself for any slip up.

Moving forward: pray more and resume my quiet time.

Relationships

Family wise, I have a very healthy relationship which I'm eternally grateful for. 

With friendship, I wasn't the best friend. Reached out at random moments but was not intentional about it. 

I put off calling my bestie for so long only for her to reach out in the dead of one morning that her mum had passed. I can't even begin to describe how terrible and how shitty of a friend I felt. Never again.

With ladies, I have more understanding of our struggles and reality as women so I had a lot more grace for us "slipping up."

With men, ooohhh some of them tested me. I saw audacity and understood male privilege and ignorance better. I'm also delighted to say I was even quicker to sniff out bullshit.

Setting boundaries improved and I no longer fear losing people who don't align with my goals and values. A total win all round.

Dating is more delightful now as I grow and mature. 

I love it.

Moving forward: bond even better with my family, be a better friend and make more friends. Also go on more dates (business dates, sibling dates, friend dates, dates with eligible men).

Goal Setting

It's not really the goal, it's the system put in place. I understand two very important things now:

1. Goals should be flexible: you should allow yourself to change it, slack, get up but most importantly know that there are many roads to the end you have in mind. Not being flexible in your approach to goals is a recipe for burnout.

2. Systems are better: it's cool to have goals but without the right systems, it's only a wish. How you intend to achieve the goals is IMO more important than the goal itself. 

I learned these last quarter of the year.

Putting Myself First

Totally thankful that there were no losses of any kind this year. Life especially -  considering the pandemic and the number of travels we embarked on at home.

However, I got an info in November that surprisingly shook me to my core. Where I served (NYSC), the principal died. I was numb when I heard.

For a while, I could hear the drag on his footsteps, the drawl when he spoke, his attitude to work and the way he related to teachers. I think he was stressed and I felt pity for a life gone without rest. 

I had many thoughts. 

What if he took the car on those days he had to pass through that terrible road to Itele?

What if he decided to stay in one of the apartments in school instead of the long commute to and from his house? He had a bad leg after all.

He was punctual, stayed late, even came around some weekends, all for what?

He was the face of the school and a damn good worker by any standard. But all for what? To what end?

When I first came as a corp member, he was the one I spoke to. I remember asking him for an apartment as I would not come from Lagos to Otta daily for any reason. He spoke to someone and I got it. I was the only corper with an apartment.

I remember thinking, what if I didn't ask? 

I remember reiterating to myself that closed mouths don't get fed. 

How ironic that I feel his death was because he didn't speak up about a lot of things.

I've always resented workaholism and try to encourage people to rest. I told him on some occasions and he'd explain his job doesn't afford that. 

Now, all for what?

He slumped and that was it.

I did take it harder than I expected but I truly hope that he's at rest. That wherever he is, he isn't walking about ensuring that everything is in order. 

I hoped to visit the school again, with gifts for him at least. 

Now, I can only hope he's at rest.

But thinking about him made me resolve to make my tongue even sharper. I used to have a slight dread for interviews but now we'll be having a conversation. A conversation about my welfare. 

I refuse to work without rest. I refuse the absence of flexibility. I refuse to keep quiet about my well being and I refuse a job I can't leave at work.

If I can describe 2020 in one word, I'll say GROWTH.

It's been an amazing year for me regardless of the chaos it brought around the world.

I've set things in motion to have an exciting new year.

For 2021, I've resolved to begin living my baby girl life to the fullest. Explore as much as I can (pandemic or not), love and feel shamelessly, and let my light shine so bright, Jesus will be very proud.

I hope you do too.