13 Kinds of People You Can Find in the Staff room

Staff rooms are a blessing and a curse!
I mean not everyone is going to have the luxury of an office, as in a personal space. Some of us have to be looking at and breathing the same air with other people... Every time.

Pause, I don't hate my colleagues.

I work a 9 to 5, or in my case, an 8 to 4:00  job. Very convenient and quite enjoyable. I also have my desk in our staff room. This means that I can't escape interactions at my workplace.
Now you know that your colleagues can make or mar your work experience. Fortunately, I have no bad colleagues but the diverse personalities man, ugh, kills me sometimes. Some days I laugh throughout the day(actually, there's no day I don't laugh there), some others I argue till my voice cracks, sometimes the things they say leave me wondering how they got here.

Anyway, I have decided to round up all the personalities I've experienced since being in the staff room. I'm sure you have met some in your workplace.

1. The talkative - Yes, you guessed correctly, that colleague who can't seem to keep his/her mouth shut. You can't have a moment of silence in the staff room or time to just meditate. Worst part, they are not necessarily intelligent. They just feel like having an opinion on any and everything. A day without them at work is a relief.

2. The comedian - This one is a mixed bag. Sometimes you just love him; Lightens up the mood, cracks badass jokes, spin serious issues to something to laugh about and kills tension in the staff room. The other side is when they don't know when to stop. Oh boy, telling inappropriate jokes, telling jokes at the wrong time and the worst part, telling unfunny jokes and proceeding to laugh loudly (alone) at his jokes. Thank God for self control *takes deep breath*
A day without him though, is boring.

3. Nosy Nancy - This one has no boundaries. Asks inappropriate questions, wants to know every damn thing. Your after-work life, your family, love life, career goals, even the food you bring to work is not spared- yes they would come, look into it and count how many pieces of meat are there and either tell you how they can't eat food without at least three big chunks of meat or that you shouldn't be eating meat at all.
We can do without Nosy Nancy to be honest.

4. The musician - This one has three different variants all of which I dislike. The first type is the one who supplies the staff room music from their phone (with their poor music taste). The second, those ones who sing with their voice usually gospel with lots of ad-libs (please stop) sometimes prompting some others to join in(the worst). The third, those who have no control over their body. There's always a melody in their heart, sitting down dancing, talking to you, Dancing to some imaginary song or encouraging the previous two by dancing. It's terrible I tell you.

No, I don't like seeing them at work.

5. Chief adviser - gives both good and not-so-good advice, solicited and unsolicited. This one is usually occupied by the oldest person in the staff room, the young lady who has gone through heart breaks, the young person who feels he has so much life experience.
Generally harmless, so their presence or absence means nothing.

6. Politician - Every political update, this one comes with it. He knows all the ways government can be better. His favorite thing to do? Bash the Government. The politician is also the cause of most arguments in the staff room. Yes he has political ambition, with a great oral manifesto on how he will take Nigeria to the promise land (but we all know he will make very shitty politician).
I like these ones so a day without them is boring.

7. Moderator - his job is to keep the staff room sane. During arguments and discussions, he asks the other to pause, directs the conversation, warns against insults and calls for calm. Personally I think he deserves a raise for the good work.
A day without him will led to chaos, probably black eyes. Yes, my staff room can get really intense.

8. Unsatisfied Worker - He/she just hates the job. Feels like they should be earning more, be in a better place, hates any company news that involves doing more work, joins our conversations occasionally. Their favorite things to do include: complaining about the job, encouraging complaints, escalating minor grievances with the company, dampening the spirits of new colleagues, encouraging people who want to leave and of course, scouring job sites.
A day without this one? Hmm, I actually enjoy having them around because they motivate you to want more and discourage complacency. Surprisingly enough, they do their job very well.

9. Unofficial boss - this one is just like the unsatisfied worker, only that all their anger is usually directed to the management. This position is usually occupied by the oldest staff (by age or duration of stay in the company). Their favorite things to do include: bitching about the management, waiting for them to slip up, announcing every single idea they bring to the company and prolonging staff meetings due to constant disagreements.
I'm not gonna lie, I enjoy having them around, they bring drama and sometimes tea.

10. Snitch - somehow staff room convos get to the ears of the management. Somehow, two colleagues quarrel because certain gossip got to the wrong person. We don't know who the snitch is so we can't even avoid them. If you are looking for a reason to stay away from office gossip, the snitch will give you a reason to.

11. Ring leader - at the forefront of office rebellion, the voice of the voiceless, helps bring our issues to management, doesn't fear confrontation. The ring leader has a special place in our hearts to be honest.

12. Sealed lips - hardly talks, just keep to themselves. This may be because they are extremely shy, simply reserved, have nothing to contribute or feel too big. When they talk, their voices are unrecognizable. Oh another thing, they are the first to leave at closing hour. Well, them or the unsatisfied worker.
A day without them? Nothing to miss!

13. Slay Mama - Did you say everything on fleek? Yes sir! I'm talking hair, makeup, outfit, everything on point. Enjoys looking at every reflective surface. I happen to fall in this category too. Extreme cases are those who keep pouting and blinking at their cameras, trying different filters and taking lots of pictures.
A day without the slayers? Ah, admit it, you look forward to seeing us.

That's all the people I can remember in my staff room. I'm sure you recognize some of them in your colleagues. So what did I leave out and which are you?