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How often do you say sorry?






As far as I'm concerned, sorry is one the most abused words - used so often but not in the right way. There is a difference between saying I'm sorry and saying sorry. I'm sorry is mostly used to show remorse, used in paying condolences, in sarcasm and wherever applicable. Sorry, on the other hand, is used in many ways which I can't begin to describe. What I want us to talk about is, its necessity in our vocabulary.

I've been checking myself for a sometime now. It's actually been a while since I realised that I and many other people I know love this particular word.

Want to borrow a pen? Sorry, may I have...?

Someone step on you? You address the person by starting with sorry - "sorry, you just stepped on me".

Want to get  information on something? We say "sorry, did you or do you..."

If you want to be honest, you will recall a good number of times you have said sorry when you are not supposed to. If you look further, you will realise that in each of these instances and more, "excuse me" is the appropriate line to use. Seriously, replace the word sorry with excuse me in the above examples and any other instance you know of and see if it doesn't fit.

The thing is, no one wants to be the bad guy, the condescending one, the impolite one, the confrontational one because if you indeed use excuse me, depending on the instance used, you could be seen as one of these. Now the thing is, not only is excuse me the right phrase to use, you don't have to seem apologetic all the time.

I mean, Sorry for what? What are you apologising for? Are you trying to look nice? Sound polite?


That could be a sign of need for acceptance. I tried this and it worked so I'm going to tell you this truth : saying excuse me is likely to get you what you want than when you say sorry. Seriously, when next you are in a situation where sorry is the first thing that pops out of your mouth, say excuse me. For example - sorry, can I borrow your pen? Say excuse me, can I borrow your pen quickly. While this is debatable, our brain processes things in different ways. Many people love to take advantage of someone in need. They are more likely to hesitate or look down on you when you start with sorry. That's because you show neediness, weakness, less confidence. Also, because our facial expressions follow our words, our eyes, eyebrows and whole face is begging. No need to look like you are begging for a simple favour.

Now say, excuse me, may I have your pen? People love or admire confident people. People who seem like they are in a hurry but not desperate. People who seem like bosses and you know, bosses rarely say sorry and mostly, your eyes and facial expression isn't begging because, well, your words are not begging. Guess what! You are going to get the pen with more respect attached. It is what it is.

Now, don't forget to say please if pushed further or when appropriate instead of saying sorry more desperately. You see, abusing words like sorry tends to give it less meaning. It's 2019, let's drop unnecessary niceties and get straight to business when we can. Let's reduce our use of sorry so that when we do use it, it has more meaning, more strength, more effect and more sincerity to it.

So how often do you say sorry? Are you ready to change?

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